Notes on How to Improve Self.

1. Stop being too nice for my own good. Be cautious and don't get cheated !
2. Stop expecting so much out of myself. I'm not perfect. Embrace it.
3. Be more aware of surroundings. I know I can't multitask and I'm exceptionally unaware of things. So always take a step back, and sort things out, one by one. It. will. get. done. eventually.
4. Stop being extremely sensitive and sentimental about everything. Being a girl doesn't mean I can't be strong and realistic.
5. Be happy with the things I do on my own. Don't always depend on others to put a tick on 'Chui Nee's happiness'.

6. Paint. more. :)

Jumble

My thoughts are in a jumble. Mixed feelings of disappointment, frustration, and agitation. Best part about this is, I don't know why.

I guess people have moments when they feel down for no reason, or for a subconscious accumulation of reasons. Can I please return to becoming that girl who doesn't care about anything in the world, apart from being happy and amused at every little spark life has to offer?

I often wonder why do I like to hide behind the naive hopeful mind of a child, than face harsh reality that life is just ugly. Why do I persist in believing that everything's nice and sweet, and people are not as evil as I think they are deep inside, and happy endings are completely normal. Soon, I know that I will be disappointed, let down by this cover I put up.

I know this is all very deep and it doesn't make sense, but its' really hard to put my thoughts now into understandable words or situations. I just want to have an outlet for these jumbled thoughts I am now having. Emotional and ridiculous as they may be.. well, its my blog.